It's all in the math. Or the pudding.

You'll have to forgive any errors I make in the following proof. I haven't written any proofs since high school. But at least, the proof is in the pudding, and I have made pudding.

Given:

 Pregnant 
 =

Crockpot.

Given: The entire city of Albuquerque still uses swamp coolers. Still. 

Given: The Swamp Cooler Equation: x - 15 = y

Where x is the outside temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, and y is the indoor temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.

If x = 100

And Sears ran out of window AC units 

Then: y = 85

And

Epilogue: It is true that I did cry when Jeremy came home to tell me that Sears was sold out of window refrigerated air units. But the good news is that today -- the very next day -- was better for two reasons: One: It rained for the first time since our drought, so it cooled off a little outside, and two: we had the bright idea to keep the cooler running all night, instead of turning it off. We usually turn it off at night because it has no thermostat and only two settings: on and off. But lo and behold, we slept better with it on, even though it must have used a ton of electricity and water.